View From The Stands On Raceclubs by Graham Clifford features Marsh Mount Stables, Nuns on the rum and Castle Crooks Farm

Biography: Graham is the sports editor of the Irish Post newspaper in London and has been a broadcast and print journalist for the last eight years working in the U.K., Australia and in his native Ireland. He presents a show on local BBC radio in the South East of England and claims to have Psychic powers. He once caught a falling star and glued it back in space again and is in line to become the official starter of the Aintree Grand National in 2010! 

Like a herd of elephants, we will never ever forget!

My counsellor says I must let go, I intend to fire my counsellor. My priest told me forgiveness is the key to happiness, I plan to become an atheist. My wife said if I don’t stop banging on about the injustice of Thierry Henry’s double hand ball against Ireland she’ll leave me, I plan to bang out about it louder and more aggressively than ever once I finish writing this! Oh yes we may be a friendly race of people but when you knock us out of a World Cup by cheating we never forget! Another who doesn’t forget is the Hermitage Kennel Owner.The most recent View from the stands competition question was: “Inevitably WAGS will attract much media attention ahead of and during this summer’s World Cup. It will be very hard for them, poor things. Are there any Wags you’d like to take under your wing and why!!?” Hermitage responded by saying “Yes. Thierry Henry's Wag. Seeing as I'm Irish and still suffering, after Henry's use of his hand in the box caused my nation so much distress. I'll gladly exact revenge by using my hand in the box.” It was smutty, it was crass but it was very funny you have to admit! And so Hermitage you win the £10 in bonus credits. Perhaps in the interest of Anglo-Irish relations we should always promise to boo both Henry and Maradona when we see them on the big screen this summer! Who said it’s not enjoyable to be bitter! 

 It is not sad to enter a Raceclubs competition!

Tony from the Marsh Mount Stables confessed that he likes entering raceclubs competitions for bonus credits. But then he added that it was a sad thing to do. Tony, I spent 45p voting for Ireland THREE times in the Eurovision on Saturday night – now that truly is sad! Especially when we came third last! 

Four years on the 500 winner comes!

Hats off to Tracey from the October Madness stable. Recently she entered an exclusive club of owners who have 500 wins beside their names. It’s a superb achievement and it couldn’t happen to a more deserving stable owner. That rosette is filling up quickly my dear. 

Nuns on the rum!

A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup. 

As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how it was the root of all the city's problems. 

Slightly annoyed at having to listen to this the guy said, "Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That doesn't make me a bad person. I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to several local service clubs and I contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!" 

The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, "I see your point my son and I apologize if I offended you, but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed..." 

"Look there you go again," said the man, "How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?" 

"Of course not!" gasped the nun, "The evil alcohol has never touched my lips." 

"Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?" 

"Well, I really don't know ..." 

"I'll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I'll buy you a drink. One drink. I'll prove to you that "evil" is not inside the glass, it's inside the person." 

"Oh I could never be seen going into such a den of inequity, it's out of the question. However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you've aroused a curiosity in me." 

"Well let's go inside and settle this"

"No my son, I could never enter such a place... but how about this. Take my tin cup with you and fill it with this "scotch" you mentioned. Bring it out to me and I'll try it."

"You're on!" said the guy. 

The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, "Two scotch on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup please"

The bartender sighed and said, "Is that darn nun out there again!" 

 

Castle Crooks Farm into treble figures but has he too much time on his hands?

When asked in an interview last year what he does before a big race the Castle Crook farm stable owner said “Before a big race I will count down on the clock. tick tock tick tock.” Two quick observations, A that’s not healthy and B can you get clocks that still go tick tock tick tock? If by any chance you live in a castle then I can see how that’s possible but I’ve just listened to every clock in our house and they’re silent! Anyway I digress. On Friday the might Heinz Huber roared to victory on board Jenna Rose for the yard’s 100th win. And to celebrate the stable owner bought a big grandfather clock! Fair play to you Castle Crooks Farm and here’s hoping the winners keep coming home for you. 

 

Posted via web from Raceclubs.com